so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
