Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
