what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
then he tried to convert me to islam
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
