i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
