She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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