Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
