Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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