PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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