I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
my being single is dangerous.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize