the condom got lost in my hair
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize