he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
