Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
