Slut skills are useful in every country.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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