We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
