She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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