He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Pappa wants mamma naked
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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