It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
