I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
