The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
