We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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