the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Did we literally take a cab across the street
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
