Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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