You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
