I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
