Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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