i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize