I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
