This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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