Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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