4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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