If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
