i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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