how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
