I want to walk on stilts...naked
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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