Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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