My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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