Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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