thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
