Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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