that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
