Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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