her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
