This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
