so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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