the day after is always just damage control
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
