If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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