I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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