And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
