I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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