3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
