It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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