He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I am one with the molecules
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
