She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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