its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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