You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize