Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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