let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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