He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
