so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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