My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
