My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
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Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
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you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
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