I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
