so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
