you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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