Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
zippers are such a cool invention
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
