Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
